Narcissism, in lay terms, basically means that a person is totally self absorbed.
Narcissism is known to be the pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one’s own attributes. The term originated from the Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water.
Narcissism is a character trait that involves self-admiration, self-centeredness, and an extremely high self-regard. At the core of extreme narcissism is an egotistical preoccupation with self, personal preferences, aspirations, needs, success, and how he/she is perceived by others.
On the other end of the spectrum lies the pathological narcissist. This person’s narcissism is so severe or abnormal that when diagnosed, is classified as NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder,
Of course, some amount of basic narcissism is healthy and most of us would call it basic self admiration or even self love.
A narcissist is the center of his/her own universe and people are just things to be used. No matter how socially skilled an extreme narcissist is, he/she has a major attachment to dysfunction, which is a pivotal piece to consider it is what sets them apart from others.
It is also important to note that narcissism starts with a significant emotional wound or a series of events culminating in a major trauma of separation. They are frozen in childhood. They became emotionally stuck at the time of the major trauma of separation.
A narcissist needs to feel powerful by putting others down. They do not think well of themselves, and so to make themselves feel better, they choose friends and partners who doubt themselves and their own capabilities. The most important thing to understand about narcissists is that underneath their apparent self-confidence is a profound lack of self-esteem. Narcissists expect all the attention and will steal all of your good ideas and will make the ideas theirs.
Narcissists will almost always get angry when you don't agree with them. Most importantly, they refuse to take any responsibility for any of their "bad" behavior. Instead, knowing they are unhappy, they focus on themselves and deal confidentially and quickly with a relationship that has no value to them. Narcissists will dump people like a hot potato and leave them on the side of the road wondering what happened.
Narcissism is as much of an individual problem as it is a societal problem. It is considered a social or cultural problem because he/she creates a false identity. This identity is not the true person inside.
Are we producing increasingly self-obsessed individuals in our society? There is clearly no simple answer for what is evidently deep-seated cultural and familial issues. How do children grow into strong, responsible, and resilient people after trauma or dysfunctional events?
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Once you befriend a narcissist after a while they will turn on you and often betray you. They will shut you down and put up the thick wall to preserve their own self importance. Because narcissists have an early history of deep seeded emotional wounds they are full of distrust. They have taught themselves to stuff and disconnect from their own feelings for years. This behavior is completely unconscious.
Does this sound familiar? Has this kind of situation happened to you?
In almost every situation of processing and dealing with a narcissistic person whether a friend, a working relationship or romantic relationship it can be life altering.
In my upcoming book "FACING THE NARCISSIST HEALING THE VICTIM; Living in Peace, Claiming Your Sovereignty" I shed light on this ever growing social subject. My hope is to help people regain their confidence and to assist the ready in putting their life back on track. After being acquainted with a narcissist or someone with these tendencies, most people are very hurt and deeply struggle, often for years.
It is my intention to share stories and situations in order to give the reader hope, inspiration and education and to find compassion for the narcissist. I want to help people regain peace and to take back their power. I pray this book will help people focus on their healing, stop blaming, shaming and judging themself and possibly the biggest piece... to make a promise themself that from now on, they will be their own leader!
The Stoic philosopher, Seneca (106-43 BCE) wrote.
“All ferocity is born of weakness.”